(Mary’s a ballerina, naturally.) I went to a wedding in Bastrop, Texas once that was actually a lot like this. These people include: the candy cane and wreath people, cowboys and cowgirls flinging each other around, 1950s sock hop petticoat folks, casual bystanders and - oh but of course - Mary and Joseph impersonators. Is Dollywood housing a cult? Has anyone looked into this? Someone should look into this.Ĩ:47: Dolly yells “Jesus Christ is born!” and everyone in the square magically knows to respond: “Hallelujah! He is born!” Okay, now I’m scared.ĩ:01: Dolly starts singing “Go Tell it on the Mountain,” and everyone in the vicinity starts line dancing. This initially appears to be a regular-ass musical scene, but then.Ĩ:40: Dolly starts shouting “Go tell it!” and “Spread the word!” and the assembled crowds automatically repeat everything she says, in unison. (Thrifty!) Dolly is surrounded by unfeasibly happy people waving large candy canes and what can only be described as excessive wreaths. (Katherine Bomboy/NBC)Ĩ:35: Dolly is in Dollywood’s main square wearing a dress that I recognize from her 2020 movie, Christmas on the Square. What is the meaning of this? Aside from squeezing that NBC logo into the background, I mean. Ana Gasteyer in a role that in no way allows her to be funny. Susan wants Dolly’s TV special to be a live event, but does little else for the rest of this movie. I presume this is exactly where she wakes up every morning, flawless from the dawn sunlight and surrounded by talking squirrels.Ħ:26: Ana Gasteyer is in this as an NBC employee named Susan. This whole movie is going to be a really long commercial for Dollywood and NBC isn’t it?Ĥ:48: Opening credits roll, featuring Dolly sitting in a meadow, singing a song, surrounded by sunflowers. This is 100% the appropriate response to a middle-of-the-night phone call from Dolly Parton.Ĥ:00: It is expressly stated repeatedly that Dolly wants to film the special at Dollywood and broadcast it on NBC. Sam immediately turns on a light, grins, gets up and starts shamelessly kissing Dolly’s ass. (NBC Universal)ģ:10: Driven into a frenzy by the sight of snow, Dolly decides on the spot that she simply must do a TV special “to bring that mountain magic to everyone this Christmas.” She calls a TV producer named Sam to share this suggestion and wakes him up in the middle of the night. This movie mashes together fiction, a TV special, supernatural country stars, sections where Dolly breaks the fourth wall to share lessons that aren’t really lessons, one entire dance routine that happens inside her mind, and more stilted dialog than a ’70s porno.Ģ:53: Dolly plays a show in Tahoe and is caught completely off guard when it starts snowing in a region of the country that’s known for its skiing. I’m going to break this thing down for you minute-by-minute (spoilers are coming), so get ready. Her latest, Dolly Parton’s Mountain Magic Christmas is even weirder than usual - significantly weirder than this trailer suggests, in fact. 1! That can mean only one thing! We have officially reached that special point in the year when Dolly Parton bestows upon us a preposterous Christmas movie.
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